RELATIONSHIPS

My foremost area of expertise, in a word, is relationships: Helping people get along safely, peacefully, effectively, and respectfully. Relationships are the most important and rewarding aspect of our lives. As a result, they can also be the most painful. I have studied relationships from many different perspectives, including John Gray (Mars & Venus), with whom I worked for six years as a part of his Counseling Center network. I have studied many other relationships experts, such as John Gottman, William Glasser, Deborah Tannen, Harville Hendricks, Michelle Weiner-Davis, and, yes, Dr. Phil. This variety enables me to provide personalized assistance to individuals and couples based on their unique situations. Clients don’t need to fit into my mold; I fit into the mold of my clients.

I work with clients on all types of adult relationships and on all facets of relationship issues. One unique service I offer is counseling with only one person to enhance a relationship if the other partner chooses not to participate.

Relationship Counseling Services can include:

• Pre-marriage counseling
• Relationship and marriage counseling & testing
• Recovering from affairs
• Counseling with one person to enhance a relationship
• Gay and lesbian relationships
• Struggling with the effects of alcohol, drug, or pornography use on a relationship
• Divorce counseling
• Dealing with the loss of a relationship; grief, anger, & depression
• Being single: Searching for a fulfilling partnership
• Business relationships and team-building

Whether it is your relationship with another person or your relationship with yourself, emotions can have a significant impact on your life. Emotions are a natural and important aspect of being human. But when emotions are expressed inappropriately, such as in anger, by withdrawing, or losing control, they can severely interfere with our struggle for happiness. When negative emotions take charge, we always lose. I help clients deal with and resolve the emotional and practical effects of life’s changes and problems.

Personal Counseling Services can include:

• Anger and impulse management
• Development of effective coping skills
• Stress management and relaxation
• Recovery and resilience: dealing with grief, loss, and life-limiting illness.
• Assessing and treating anxiety and fears
• Diagnosing and treating the various forms of depression
• Reduction of obsessive and compulsive behavior
• Self-esteem & goal achievement: your relationship with yourself

There is no human activity that is more rewarding and fulfilling than a deeply intimate relationship. Sex is the hallmark of intimacy. Yet sex issues are sensitive and can be difficult to identify, discuss, and resolve. As a result, we are overwhelmed with confusion, doubt, and uncertainty about what good sex is, what it means, and how to have a fulfilling sex life. An environment of safety and non-judgmental communication is central to my approach to sex therapy issues as we develop and carry out the client’s personalized plan. As a Board Certified Diplomate in Sex Therapy, I can work with individuals and couples who have concerns about all aspects of sexuality. The goal is to create a safe, meaningful, and fulfilling sexual relationship.

Sex Counseling Services can include:

• Differences in desire for sex
• How to enhance sexual relations
• Sexual orientation issues: Gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, and transgendered
• Rapid ejaculation, erection difficulties, and other performance concerns
• Loss of sexual desire
• Orgasmic difficulties
• Sexual inhibition

INTENSIVE COUNSELING

“I’m sorry but our time is up.” I hate to say this to clients as much as they hate to hear it. It can come at a time when we’re in the middle of making progress on some important issue—then we have to wait a week or more before getting back into the process. The weekly 50-minute therapy session was established years ago by insurance companies and psychiatrists. It has become the common standard.

Some clients want more; they want counseling that fits with their desires and schedules. For this reason, I offer Intensive Counseling for those who wish to aggressively attack and resolve their problems and to reach their goals in the fastest time. Clients have come to me for Intensive Counseling from locations such as New Orleans, Brazil, Japan, Washington, and Miami. In addition, I have travelled to Moscow, Dubai, Tbilisi (Georgia), Baku (Azerbaijan), and Prague to provide intensive counseling and coaching for clients. Intensive Counseling sessions can be from three to eight hours a day and can be conducted over consecutive days. For clients from another city or country, the meetings can be eight hours a day over two to seven days. No distractions, no delays, no interrupting the flow of progress. There’s time for me to really get to know you and your problems, for us to explore various methods for resolving your issues, to decide which methods and approaches are the best fit for you, and for us to reduce your emotional pressures and create a safe atmosphere of understanding and respect. It allows concentrated focus on you and your issues. This allows me to work in ways that are beneficial to my clients, not to the insurance companies. (That is the reason I don’t work with most insurance providers.) I am highly goal-oriented, and I have found Intensive Counseling to be a most efficient way to pursue goals in the least amount of time.

Intensive Counseling may be considered if any of the following pertain to you:

• You live a distance away from my office
• You have a critical situation
• You want rapid answers or resolution to your counseling needs
• You like to choose a counseling schedule that fits your schedule
• You have limited amounts of free time
• You have the ability to make the investment of time and money up front rather than spread the counseling out over several weeks or months

Why might men feel comfortable coming to David? I became a counselor, in part, because I had a serious anger problem. It hurt me in my relationships, with my children, and in my work. I thought that it was “just the way I am.” Two male counselors helped me immensely and it changed my life. As a man, I understand the courage that it often takes for a man to seek input from another person. We like to think that we should be able to solve our own problems. In the counseling process I use with men, I focus on problem-solving and goal achievement in the most efficient manner. I like being straightforward and getting to the point. I want men to feel comfortable, accepted, and respected in the process of being more effective in their lives.

And why might women come to David? Obviously, I offer a masculine perspective on men, women, and relationships. I have a very strong background in understanding and respecting women, having been raised by a mother and four older sisters. I have studied gender differences with John Gray and other experts, including my wife, Deborah, whose PhD dissertation was focused on femininity. I know the importance of communications. As a believable and unbiased authority, I can effectively explain to men what women are like and what they need (a woman counselor may be seen as biased). And I know the necessity of creating a safe and respectful atmosphere in which to communicate openly and comfortably in order to achieve understanding. I make this a priority in my work with couples.

Why would members of the LGBT community come to David? I was first affected by AIDS in 1981, when my gay brother-in-law died of an “unknown” illness in San Francisco. In 1986, the man who had cut my hair for several years suddenly wasn’t there any more. He had died of AIDS. When I left the business world to become a counselor, one of my first acts was to volunteer with the Tampa AIDS Network. In 1998, my wife’s brother died of AIDS. For 16 years, I led a support group for gay men. I have been deeply involved in the gay community in various ways for 19 years and feel competent in understanding their special issues. The rights of lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgendered individuals (LGBT’s) to lead a life with equal rights and equal respect is one of my highest values and priorities.

What is your counseling approach? My general style of working with people can best be described as goal-focused, solution-oriented, and proactive. I don’t just sit back and listen. I take an active part in the counseling process. I bring up subjects to discuss. I often give homework to do between sessions. In the first session I seek to understand my client’s goals for the counseling process so I can work in a specific direction. I am an expert in brief, solution-oriented therapies, taking a positive and self-affirming approach to the resolution of difficult issues. And when circumstances call for it, I can work with clients on deep and life-altering therapy over a longer period. As a result of the above, I can “customize” counseling to the specific needs of the group, couple, or individual.

Another unique aspect of my counseling approach is that the first session with me is usually a double session (one hour 45 minutes vs. the normal 45 to 50 minutes). This allows time – without being rushed – for me to understand what your issues are, what your counseling goals are, to ask a few questions about your childhood and growing up experiences (those usually have an effect on what’s happening now), and allows me time to give you some feedback and to begin to proceed toward your goals. I find that a single initial session limits the amount of information I can gather and the benefit a client might expect from a meeting. Of course, insurance does not cover a double session. In that case, we will do the intake process in two different meetings, or the client can pay for a second immediate session.

What are your credentials and experience? Due to my diverse background, other counseling professionals seek my advice on special issues. I supervise Master’s level Mental Health Counselor Interns in preparation for licensing. Michele Weiner-Davis, author of the best selling book Divorce Busting, consulted with me during the preparation of her subsequent book, Change Your Life And Everyone In It. I have had extensive certification training with Dr. John Gray, author of the best selling Mars & Venus books. Along with my wife, Deborah, I have led over 35 Mars & Venus relationship workshops.

Day and evening hours are available. Some insurance is accepted, and reduced fee arrangements can be made in cases of financial hardship.

PROFESSIONAL AFFILIATIONS

• North Carolina Licensed Professional Counselor, #9244
• Utah Licensed Professional Counselor, #6093125-6004
• Florida Licensed Mental Health Counselor #MH 3268
• Board Certified Diplomate: American Board of Sexology #2562
• Board Certified Diplomate: National Board for Certified Clinical Hypnotherapists #R 845
• Board Certified: National Board for Certified Counselors #35498
• Certified Mars & Venus relationship counselor: 1997 - 2002
• International Society for Mental Health Online
• Board Certified Distance Counselor: Center for Credentailing and Education, Inc. #DCC 00259
• Certified Professional Coach: 2011 to Present
• Suncoast Mental Health Counselors Association (Former vice-president)
• Tampa Bay Association for Marriage & Family Therapy (Former treasurer)
• Tampa Bay AIDS Network (Former Volunteer Counselor and Speaker's Bureau)

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